I've gone on a thinking binge. This is not good. Thinking has the tendency to stress me out depending on what I'm thinking about, of course. This just happens to be one of those times.

College is taking a toll on me. I finally figured out what I wanted to major in. Now I just can't figure out everything else, and it's really starting to bug me.

I need to get my car fixed. I need a job. The car has to be fixed so I can get a job. I actually gave up on the job hunt. There's no point in applying anywhere until I have reliable transportation. My brother is supposed to fix my car this weekend. I'm praying my sister takes it to him so I don't have to. It's like 3 hours away, and I'm so sick of driving and traveling. I was in the car for like 8 hours this past Sunday alone.

I can't go to college unless I have a job. I can't have a job unless I have a car. See my dilema?

I don't neccessarily need the job to pay for college. That's what financial aid is for. What I need the job for is to pay for gas. $2.50 a gallon isn't exactly cheap. I miss the days when it was $0.98 a gallon. Oh, how I long for those times. It wouldn't be so bad if the school wasn't 30 miles away. I know that's no so bad, and it could be worse seeing as Jenni drives about 45 miles to school every day.

My problems are minor compared to what they could be. I know this and I'm grateful that God is mindful. I'm truly blessed. In knowing all of this I still can't help but what all of this resolved.

I found out that I have to take a stupid test to get accepted into the actual college. Pardon me while I scream. I hate tests. I could take notes, write papers, do worksheets, etc. forever, but when it comes to tests my brain decides to go off into left-field somewhere. I guess I sort of freak out when it comes to tests just because I know that they ARE a big deal. Failure is not an option for me. It never has been, probably because my family has never let it be. If I fail I have to hear it from them, so I'll beat myself up over it forever. Stupid stupid tests.

This means I'll be studying from here on out through all eternity. Honestly, I don't understand algebra and I probably never will. I have a feeling I'll end up taking developmental algebra. I'm so taking Tommy Thompson's class. At least he'll pass me if I make an effort to try and understand it.

And now here comes the ranting and raving. Of course, that's what happens when "algebra" and "Erika" are used in the same context.

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OKAY, WHY do we even need algebra?! Why? No one really understands it. No one really needs it. It's just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo created to make people feel stupid when we don't understand it. Every equation has a different way of working itsself out than the last one.

Frickin A.

Back to the job..

The way it looks when I was searching is that I'm going to be saying, "Do you want fries with that?", and if that be the case then I won't get a job. God bless the fast food workers of this country, but I cannot do that. I cannot work with food. It hate being around it for a long period of time because it will literally make me sick.

I know God will provide me a good job, and I'm trusting that He will, but right now I'm a little disgusted. Nothing seems to be working out. Nothing. Zilch. Zippo.

Everything has it's season, blah blah blah. Whatever. I'm so tired of everything. The more I try the more things seem to fall apart. They've got to make a turn around soon, because if not they're headed straight into a brick wall.

I might as well go now. I've complained enough for all eternity.

If you decide to love me you could say a prayer for me. Much prayers are needed right now. Stress is kicking in majorly.